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  • Writer's pictureBecca Terkelsen


Updated: Nov 20, 2018

As I embark on this whole “brand yourself, start a blog, build your tribe” adventure, one of the things I started doing was meeting with a life coach. Now, I am an advice giver. I am someone my friends come to for the answer. I LOVE to be helpful and offer some life experience whenever I can. So, when I tell those same friends, “I can’t, I have a meeting with my life coach”, I usually end up asking if they’re still on the line because it goes dead silent (Well, lets be honest, it’s probably in a text and I just see endless circling dots indicating they’re “typing”).

When I first heard the term “#lifecoach” I’ll admit, I rolled my eyes a little. I mean – come on – you want to be a therapist but never wanted to do the school thing? But this is a common misperception I’m about to correct. A life coach is kind of like a therapist – but WAY better.

I think I’ll use the words of my own coach, Sylvia, to define what coaching actually is:

To define coaching, it might be easiest to start off explaining what it’s not. Coaching is not about “fixing” someone. It’s not telling someone what to do. It’s not therapy. Life and leadership coaching is about purposeful guidance.

sylvia laselva

She goes on to describe in some more detail the kinds of questions she asks to help guide you, but you can find that all on her website. What I know is that ALL successful people have a coach, a leader, a mentor – call it what you want. Every. Single. One. I saw my own amazing friend Tracy make some incredible changes over the first year or so she was working with Sylvia and I knew I had to start seeing her, too.

I have found that having that hour every week or so allows me to do a few things.

First and foremost, it means I have to sit down and focus on myself. In our first session, Sylvia and I covered my life as a snapshot. Want some insight into yourself? Try synopsizing your life in one hour to a stranger! She immediately identified some key areas in which I wanted to work, and I knew I would benefit from her help in the long term.

Now that I am a few months in to my sessions, I have created the broad strokes version of what I want my business future to look like. She has helped me to be sure I hold myself accountable to certain deadlines. She helped me when I was trying to decide on my brand name, and talked me through “Becca” vs. “Rebecca”. When I was coming up with my branding graphics I went back to this circle that I liked but realized that it needed to be “imperfect,” because that is part of how I believe life is balanced. At this point I have shifted my goals in working with Sylvia to help focus my vision. I have no doubt that she will be able to help me to hone my sight.

My recommendation to anyone who wants to build their best life is to find a #mentor, a coach or some version of one. Someone who will ask the hard questions and hold you accountable to answer them. This has to be someone with no ‘skin in the game’ – it can't be someone in your inner circle. These people are important and valued, but they can't be the ones to help push you to the next level. They already see the best in you, and you’ve already learned how to play them when necessary!

A coach has to be someone with no ‘skin in the game’ – it can't be someone in your inner circle.

My advice for finding a coach? Seek out someone who you vibe with. Someone who gets you but will not allow you to make excuses. Find someone who excites you. Ask your most successful friend who their mentor or coach is, and I guarantee you’ll find a path to your own. Be open to what the universe has lined up for you and follow the path to your greatness.

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